so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
