He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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