It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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