I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
