small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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