your room smells of hookers.
And success
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
