yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
