my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
