): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
