I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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