well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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