Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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