We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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