what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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