Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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