OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
