Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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