Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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