I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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