I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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