Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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