Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
