hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
