Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
