Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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