i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
