talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
