matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
