i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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