I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
