oh god the rape fog is back!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
