i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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