Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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