dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
