No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize