um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize