Banned from zoo.
Again?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
