Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
