belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
