great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
