3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
