yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
