all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
