Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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