i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
This house was built for laser tag.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
