Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
