Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
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I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
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You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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