Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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