I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize