is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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