i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
