So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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