u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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