I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize