Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
