wakey wakey hands off snakey
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
