just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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