Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize