I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
