Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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