she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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